Here are a few quotes that i found amusing. *performs magical pizza dance*
"This time I didn't just loose the car keys, I lost the whole damn car!"
-Unknown
"You laugh 'cuz I'm different, I laugh 'cuz your ugly."
-Unknown
"I wish I was Barbie, that bitch has everything."
-Unknown
"I like to go to the elementary school to watch the children jump and shout, but they
don't know I'm using blanks."
-Unknown
"People begin to look at you differently when they see you stuffing voodoo dolls
with laxatives."
-Unknown
"All generalizations are false, including this one."
-Unknown
"Anything good in life is either illegal, immoral, or fattening. "
-Pardo
"As I said before, I never repeat myself."
-Unkown
"As long as I can remember, I've had amnesia."
-Unkown
"As soon as the stewardess serves the coffee, the airline encounters turbulence."
-Unkown
"Be nice to your kids. They'll choose your nursing home."
-Unkown
" Better to understand a little than to misunderstand a lot."
-Unknown
"Between two evils, I always pick the one I never tried before."
-Mae West
"Car service: If it ain't broke, we'll break it."
-Unknown
"Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine."
-Unknown
"Choose heaven for climate, hell for society."
-Unknown
"Common sense is the collection of prejudices acquired by age 18."
- Albert Einstein
"Diplomacy is the art of saying 'Nice doggie!'... till you can find a rock."
-Unknown
"Doesn't expecting the unexpected make the unexpected become the expected?"
-Unknown
"Don't be so open-minded or your brains will fall out."
-Unknown
"Drugs have taught an entire generation of American kids the metric system."
-Unknown
"For people who like peace and quiet: a phoneless cord."
-Unknown
"Forgive your enemies...but REMEMBER THEIR NAMES!"
-Unknown
"Friends come and go, enemies accumulate."
-Unknown
"Friends help you move. Real friends help you move bodies."
-Unknown
"Give me ambiguity or give me something else."
-Unknown
"Give your child mental blocks for Christmas."
-Unknown
"Gravity doesn't exist. The Earth sucks."
-Unknown
"Gun control is being able to hit your target!"
-Unknown
"If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried."
-Unknown
"A conclusion is the place where you got tired of thinking."
-Unknown
"Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it."
-Unknown
"I used up all my sick days, so I'm calling in dead."
-Unknown
" If I want your opinion, I'll ask you to fill out the necessary forms."
-Unknown
"Sorry I got lost in thought. It was unfamilar territory."
-Unknown
"Everyone has a photographic memory. Some just don't have film!"
-Unknown
"Seen it all, done it all, can't remember most of it."
-Unknown
"Those who live by the sword get shot by those who don't."
-Unknown
"I feel like I'm diagonally parked in a parallel universe."
-Unknown
"You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say will be misquoted and used against you."
-Unknown
"I let my mind wander and it didn't come back."
-Unknown
