Slipping Back Into The Gap Again ...... I need sleep if I intend to be functional later.
In other news... I am sitting at Laurie's house chilling at 2:24 in the early am. A few momentous thing have sporadically come across he mine field that I lovingly refer to as my brain. Many things, which I should have been considering in earlier stages, and others that are just sitting there with an effect as useless as crapping a hammer. It is just one of those times where everything seems to need picking apart... The insatiable itch of my own curiosity is getting the best of me... Again. I don't know quite how to describe it but it is a feeling of being submerged in something dark and it is what dwells within the recesses of my conscious; something I can feel again, something that supplies my brain with lucid daydreams and an occupancy on something other than what has been recently lost. However I believe it has begun to take a toll on those who are around me because this disease of mine is becoming somewhat of a contagion. The last thing I want is another's expense.
I am looking forward to hanging out with everyone at Laurie's party tomorrow, or should I say tonight? Doesn't matter I suppose. The intent is to go skating tomorrow, and I find myself anxious to go because it has been a while since I last left my mark on the hardwood floors of Olympia. That and the possibility of seeing Josh and being accompanied by my other friends. On the other hand, I face an internal resistance because I do not desire to stare into the face of the one I lost. It has actually come to a point to where I dread seeing him anymore because it serves only as a painful reminder of things past. Despite the fact that I have accepted the fact that there is no longer a bond, the thoughts still remain poorly locked inside for their box to be opened by a look from his direction.
