Share With Me 'Cause I Need It Right Now
Let Me See Your Insides Or Write Me Off
'Cause I'd Rather Starve Now If You Won't Open Up
You Won't Open Up
Two days until school is OVER. I am excited... somewhat. In one point of view, it'll be over and I can get some rest... But that also makes it harder to resolve my situation by putting a time limit on it. I consider the entire ordeal between my friend and I over. She has made her decision and things are the way they're going to be, easy as that. It is at a point to where it doesn't bother me anymore. Things are always easier to take once I am faced with the fact that there is nothing I can do about it. What does bother me however is this: I believe she is no longer going to be my friend just because of it.
Does something that miniscule have to be the tearing seam of such an enjoyable page in the book? I remember we used to laugh about the stupidest shit just because we could... and it was fun.
I don't see that anymore.
Now, whenever I say something that would usually have her on the brink of tears from laughing so hard, she gives me a look that makes me want to tear my hair out or she just dismissively rolls an eye. If you have to know, yeah that does bother me... and maybe I'm just too apathetic about things and forget them faster while other people are still fuming. I really don't expect people to get over things as easily because my ability to detatch myself emotionally from a situation actually has been labled as unusual and possibly unhealthy, but the reaction I am getting isn't what I would have expected either. Is it that it bothers you still, even after you say it doesn't? You've said it before. So have I. I only want to know if there's anything I should, shouldn't, can, or can't do. If nothing will help, I'll leave it all alone and try not to pick it apart. As I said before, things become much easier once I know it is inevitable. It's a thing some people would refer to as blind faith. Whatever it is, it works for me. But for you, that is my only question: Can I change this? I'd like to know.
As for the rest of my time... I plan to come into school on the last day with black hair and white curls, and if I can't make that do I'll just do tips. To top it all off, I'll be decked out in my bondage pants, my heartagram shirt, and my 5" platform boots. While I will be dark for the last day, Becca will be my light twin. Her hair will be opposite to mine (white with black curls) and she will be wearing all white and lace. Thank God, too. I'm not one for white and even if I was, I wouldn't be able to keep it clean before I even leave my house for school >_<. For tomorrow though, I need to prepare myself for finals by doing the one thing I dread. Studying. First time for everything, right? Right, especially if I intend to pass my Citizenship final with an 86. I have slacked the entire year in that class, so I guess that's what I get. Speaking of finals, I have to get plenty of sleep if I intend to remember anything I review. I hate wasted effort. So, to all of those who may remember them, sweet nightmares.
-Shallow Hearts Are Those Pierced Easiest By A Vampire's Kiss-
Yours Maniacally.
