If You Die And There's No One Watching
And Your Ratings Drop And You're Forgotten
If They Kill You On Their TV
You're A Martyr And A Lamb Of God
Well...
I do understand that three words is not sufficient for an update; at least it's not sufficient if you are looking for substance, but substance is not something that is found here often. Take Thursday night for example; the entire night seemed to be devoured in an abyss of gray and shadows. For the duration of the night, we seemed to go nowhere, although the narrow strip of road continued to change direction, the yellow marks continued to flash past in their monotonous sequence, and the occasional glowing eyes of stoplights descended and hovered over the windshield for brief amounts of time. The only thing that was solid or made any sense was how badly I missed you, that and how much I wanted to just close my eyes and have you there again. Unfortunately, the engine continued with its angry purr and the wheels of the Ford held their direction towards Hawkinsville. I almost wished it would only grow thicker and drown us all, if only for the night.
But the time that I had before was glorious.
Months before I had actually been wondering what I would be doing as far as my holidays were concerned. I had been wondering what you would be doing, too. However, I never expected to have any involvement with each other for that duration. Yeah, maybe "Merry Christmas" in an email or something of the sort, but I never expected that I would be the one you woke up to over the holidays. I suppose trusting in the worst case scenario so you're never disappointed actually works.
With that aside... I just wanted to say how much I enjoyed myself. I found it amazing to open my eyes after feeling warmth and catching your scent and finding that you were actually there, even if there hadn't been much of a chance to sleep. There are mornings that I wake up after feeling the same things, but what greets me is the empty side of the bed rather than a smile. Just being able to know that you were there made me look forward opening my eyes for a new day, when under any other circumstance I would wish to have them sewn shut. I sometimes expect you to come around the corner so I can hold onto you even when you're not here. Its strange and saddening at the same time when I realize it isn't going to happen, but what makes me smile is that I know with a little time I'll be able to see you and it will happen. I just wanted to let you know that I couldn't have asked for anything more than the time I got to spend with you. I really couldn't. Thank you.
I miss you.
I love you.
-Yours Maniacally.-
