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How We Choose The Framing Of The Scene
Hate Begins To Spill Across The Screen
Blinding Light Illuminates The Scene
Try To Fill The Spaces In Between
Everything is going as planned, yet nothing is where it needs to be and nothing feels right.
My enlistment has finally taken a positive turn, while everything has finally fallen apart at the seams.
I honestly think sometimes that the only reason I even got to where I needed to be was because of stress alone, and not any real result of my efforts.
I don't know if my relationship's ever going to be quite right; I don't know if that isn't just how it feels because of current circumstance.
I feel unfulfilled in my own house, my own endeavors, everything.
I feel unstable, insecure. In everything.
I feel surrounded by my own shortcomings and all of the things I can't change, and I'm beginning to hate my choices and everything connected to them.
I also feel like, in more ways than none, that I am losing control of even myself.
I punched someone in the face for the first time two days ago.
I can't control my anger.
I can't even think clearly half the time anymore.
It's all becoming one big clusterfuck of inner failure.
And for some reason, despite knowing that in six months -give or take- none of it will matter, I can't seem to shake the feeling that somewhere along the way, I lost track of something inexplicably important.
I guess I'll figure all of that out when it's too late to matter, as always.
